Memorial website in the memory of your loved one

John Thomas, 10 years I have lived without you. I never imagined that I would have to live one minute this way. So much has happened since you left us. You now have 3 little brothers, all with blonde hair and blue eyes, just like you. You have a beautiful baby sister who has your button nose. I'm sure you gave them all something special before God sent them to us. They help with the pain of losing you, but nothing will ever replace you or heal the loss of you. I miss and love you so deeply it hurts. You will always be momma's blessing. I love you little Buckaroo and you will always live on through me. Happy 10th heavenly birthday. I wish so much I could see you now. Until we meet again I will just imagine how beautiful and kind you are. I love you always and my baby you will always be. Love, Momma

                In Memory of Our Sweet Baby Boy John Thomas Cavote January 4th, 2006 5 lbs 11 ounces 18 inches long 1 :47 p.m MY SWEET LITTLE BUCKAROO

Our Little Buckaroo Little John Thomas With your eyes so Blue Your Mommy and Daddy Are so proud of you

Little John Thomas With hair spun of gold You were a blessing for all of us To love, have and hold

Little John Thomas With the porcelain skin There are so many hearts You'll forever be in

Little John Thomas So sweet and so pure You taught us all Just what love can endure

Little John Thomas Our perfect boy Your life here was short But you brought so much joy

 Little John Thomas So small and so loved We comfort in knowing You watch from above

 Little John Thomas We love you so much One little Soul And so many hearts touched

Little John Thomas We won't say Goodbye Your life here was perfect And we'll try not to cry

Little John Thomas Our Baby Buckaroo We are all so proud That God has chose you.

John Thomas Cavote Born an Angel 01/04/06 

                          OUR STORY: It all started on May 28th 2005, when my husband and I found out we were pregnant. I took the test and ran out to him shaking so badly, I couldn't believe we were going to have a baby. I told him, “I am sooo pregnant." He tells me now, “I don't know how pregnant you can be, but when you told me you were REALLY pregnant." It is our funny little memory. At the time we were planning a wedding to happen on August 20th, 2005. I had already bought my dress and after finding this out I was still determined to wear it, knowing I would be about 16 weeks pregnant by the time the time came. We were also building house. My graduation was also coming. I had my son from a previous relationship at a young age, so I was just now finishing school, but with everything as hectic as it was, we were still so excited and looking forward to having our baby. Hearing his heartbeat the first time was indescribable. We also got an ultrasound our first visit because I had had some cramping and they wanted to make sure it wasn't an eptopic pregnancy. It looked like a little peanut with a heart beating. My husband was beside himself.That little peanut started moving on August 19th, 2005 the day of our dinner rehearsal. The next day on our wedding night he popped out from hiding and I started showing. He stayed hidden just long enough for me to fit in my wedding dress. The whole day was absolutely beautiful. The next big event in our life was a tragic one. On August 29th, 2005 the home we were building caught fire and burnt down, about a week from moving in it. It wasn't just a home, it was our dream home. All of our dreams of the baby learning to walk talk and play were in that home. We were thankful we had our family and they we were ok. We thought at the time that was a big loss and up until then it was our biggest loss yet.We soon started rebuilding. In September we found out we were going to have a little boy. We decided to name him John Thomas. John after his Grampy John Micheal, and Thomas after his Pappa Lawrence Thomas. His Little brotherAustin was sooo excited he was a boy and everyone was very surprised. Everyone thought he was going to be a girl! Daddy was once again beside himself seeing his little boy on the little ultrasound screen. At that moment was one of our happiest. Being a boy, we also decided to decorate his room in Cowboys. We thought it would look perfect in the log home we were building. In October we went to a Halloween party. My husband was a knight and Austin was batman. I was a pumpkin and the baby went as my pumpkin seed. I thought it was the perfect costume for a pregnant women. In November we had the “Little Buckaroo” baby shower, thrown by Aunt Tina with the help of Granny. It was so perfect, just like everything else to do with John Thomas. He got so many cute little things from loving family and friends. He was so anticipated and waited for, for such a long time. My belly grew and grew. Every night I would lay my hands on it and hold him and feel him. I hoped he could feel my warmth and the protection I was trying to give him. Austin also knew mommy’s belly was growing. He talked to John Thomas all the time. He also sang him,”You are my sunshine” which was his baby song. Austin told me he wanted to share it with his little brother, and so he did. He kissed my belly and showed it off to everyone, even strangers. Thanksgiving and Christmas came and went. All the family wanted to talk about was John Thomas. They were all sooo excited and wanted me to hurry up and have him. They couldn’t wait to hold him. While time was passing we got our shopping caught up and got everything we needed for John Thomas. I loved adding things to his room. It was so beautiful. When I was having a hard day or was getting tired of waiting for him I would go in his room and play with all the things I set up. I would take the wrapper of more things, stock his diapers, arrange his bed, ect. He was also always such an active baby. He loved when dad was around; I think he liked the deep voice. He would move at the slightest sound. We played games all the time. I would put my hands on my belly to hold him and he would kick my hands. Two weeks before he passed on December 25th, 2005, I had a doctor’s appointment. I told her that he was moving so much it scared me. The past few days he had been overactive. I felt at that time I knew something was wrong. I was afraid he had a knot or would get himself tangled up with how much he had moved. I think it was my mothering instinct. I asked if there was anything they could do. She said knots were rare and even if he had one, all they could do was get him out of there. She told me to go home and if I got scared again to call, but I was scared then, but I still just went home. Every morning I would get up and go to the bathroom, before I would get Austin to school, and every morning I did this John Thomas would get the hiccups. On January 3rd, 2006 I went potty and went off to get started on getting Austin ready for school. Only I noticed this time he didn’t get the hiccups. I knew something wasn’t right. I took Austin to school, got home and called my doctor. I had to leave a message. While I waited for a call back I ate something sugary, that is what you are supposed to do when you don’t feel the baby move, it is supposed to get the baby moving. When that didn’t help I became very worried. I poked at my belly waiting for him to kick back and it didn’t happen. I then went and got my BeBe’ sounds, which is a Doppler to hear your babies heart beat at home, I couldn’t find his heart beat, but the stupid thing never hardly worked anyway. I was on my way to get Austin from school when the doctor called me back. All she said was to do the things I had already done. I told her I had already done those things and was very worried because they didn’t work. It had been four hours since he had moved and I couldn’t understand why they were not as worried as I was. She finally just told me to come in and they would check the heartbeat. I picked Austin up and at that time my husband called me. I told him what was going on and he told me to come get him. He wanted to go with me to make sure everything was ok. He knew I had been worried the whole time I was pregnant that something bad was going to happen. When I picked my husband up he got in the drivers seat and we got on the road to the doctors. While we were in the car he told me to show him my belly so he could talk to the baby. I lifted my shirt over my belly and he put his hand on it and started to talk to him. I was counting on this to work, but still no movement. Jon told me my belly didn’t even seem the same. I got to the doctors and they got us into a room immediately. They put the Doppler on my belly and still, nothing. At this point my doctor said to get ready to go into ultrasound and not to be worried. As soon as she left the room I looked at Jon and Austin and started crying. I knew something was defiantly wrong. I could tell Jon knew too. He still tried to comfort me and told me not to worry yet until we got the ultrasound.We went down to the ultrasound room, me, my husband, and my four year old Austin. My poor little boy Austin was there in the room with us, if we only would have known the outcome, he wouldn't have been there. I lifted my shirt over my belly, they touched it with the doppler, and usually I would have watched the screen, excited to see John Thomas, but I didn't even look. They said I'm sorry almost before I got my head turned and I just started screaming. My husband said ," you have got to be kidding me" and all I kept thinking was how I felt I had smothered my baby and how disappointed my husband was going to be. My husband kept asking what could have caused this to happen and they said when it is this far along, 36 weeks, with no other sign of complications, it is usually a knot. Then I started screaming,"I told the doctor, I told her"I felt I was letting my husband down. I thought my baby had died inside of me and somehow it was my fault. My next thought was what was I going to do. I knew I was going to have to have the baby. My husband and I just screamed and cried. I had never saw my husband so heartbroken and upset. I felt I tore his whole world from him. We just hugged and cried. A nurse finally had the sense to take my son to the clinic play room. My husband and I cried in the ultrasound room it seemed forever, then the nurse came in and said they were sorry, but they needed the room. They said we should call someone to come get Austin. They left again so we could call someone and Jon called his dad first. I remember the words, they hit me so hard. Jon said," Dad? my son is dead." What else could he have said? You could hardly understand him. He then told them someone needed to come get Austin, they said they would. They got there and cried and hugged us. We were still taking up the room. My doctor came in and said we had to go to labor and delivery. At this point I was wishing it would all go away. The whole pregnancy, the memories, the BELLY. The belly I loved so much. How could I ever had thought that. I was planning to have him naturally, so I still wanted to do that for him. Just because he was gone it didn't mean, to me, that he didn't deserve me trying as hard as I would have if he were still alive. My husband went in the bathroom with me to change into my gown. I was embarrased of my belly. What once was such a happy thing turned into such a devistating thing. But I could not hide my belly I was huge. It was just a cruel reminder of the lost life inside of me. How everyone found out and how people got to the hospital is still kind of a blur. I decided to have demoral for the pain, but nothing more, and they gave me as much as they could, because at this point it didn't hurt the baby. My mom was there, my parent in-laws, and my sister in law was there. They all helped so much, and my husband, oh my husband, he was at his greatest. I remember him crying sometimes when I would doze in and out, but he stayed so strong for me. He was there more than I ever imagined he would have been. I feel in love with him all over again. I was in labor for 24 hours. I was in painful labor for about 2 hours. My Husband and our family were there when he was born. My husband got to see his first born be born. It was so overwhelming for him. I wasn't in pain anymore. As soon as he came out they took him. I wanted him back. I asked and asked for him. It seemed for ever before I got him back, but I knew it was only a few minutes. They also showed me THE KNOT. I held him, smelled him, kissed him, touched him, cuddled him. I dressed him. My husband and I looked him over to what of whos he had of whos. He had the curliest, thickest, blondest hair I had ever seen. My husband and I opened his little eye lids and he had my husbands blue eyes. He truely looked like an angel baby. Too perfect to be here in this crazy world. The hardest part for me was when my husband and my father-in-law broke down in eachothers arms. We had John Thomas for six hours. We took many pictures, but I finally wanted to give him back to the nurse becasue I felt he was being handled too much. I wanted him to be at rest. I kissed him a few more times, smelled him and touched his cold head to my cheek one more time before I gave him back. As for the arrangments for him, I sucked up the pain and did everything I could physicaly, because I knew it was the only chance I had to be his mom. I helped with the floral arrangements, the funeral, the burial site, everything I could. My husband is one of the greatest husbands anyone could ever have. He helped me with everything. I couldn't have asked for more. He NEVER left my side. To this day, my husband has never left my side. He helps me remember him, talk about him and still wants him as much a part of our lives as I do. We will never forget <3

Click here to see John Cavote's
Family Tree
Tributes and Condolences
Beautiful Page...Prayers And Blessings To Nikki   / Daisy Hunt (none)
Nikki Thanks so much for sharing John Thomas' story!  What a beautiful page...I love the poetry...I was there with you Sweetie tears running down my face still now...(((hugs))) Your angel baby is there with you running around with his younger br...  Continue >>
thank you   / Adrianne Cruz (mommy to David Angelo Cruz )
Nichole, First I would like to say that John is such a handsome, sweet baby.  I now see how hard the holidays are and with his birthday being there also, it makes it just that much more.    I wanted to thank you for lighting a ca...  Continue >>
Your third birthday   / Mommy (Mommy)
  Written 1-3-09   I remember yesterday, three years ago. The Louisville cardinals were at the Gator Bowl and it was storming like crazy. We went up to Jon's parents because there were tornado warnings everywhere. We were still in the to...  Continue >>
I'm sorry for your LOSS   / Tanikka Babb
Nikki & family,   I read the story as I said I would, and I'm so sorry. I cried and cried I hope that we can stay in touch with each other. Your family is so beautiful. And congrats on the baby. I wish you and your family the very best in ...  Continue >>
My sweet baby nephew   / Jessica Estes (Aunt)
Dear John,          i never got a chance 2 meet u but i know in my heart u know who i am. i miss u very much. u have a beautiful family that loves u very much and think about u everyday. i know u are watc...  Continue >>
Update for you little one....  / Mommy (Your Mommy )    Read >>
To my angel on 1-3-08  / Mommy (Angel Mommy )    Read >>
Your angel  / Taylor Elliott-collaso (passer by )    Read >>
Angel Moms  / Lyndsey Mummy To ^i^ Alice Crowder &. Twins (Angel Mummy Too )    Read >>
GOD' GREATEST GIFT, YOUR ANGEL BABY!  / SHARI, ANGEL MOM TO YANNICK WHITEHEAD (VISITOR)    Read >>
sweet sweet baby  / Aida Quarry     Read >>
Love Lost Never Dies  / Roger W. Hancock (none)    Read >>
Happy Birthday!  / Trisha Caleb &. Carter Eskridge's Mommy     Read >>
I thought of you today....  / Sherri &. Dave Hart (Pastors)    Read >>
Heaven is not so far away....  / Sherri Hart (Pastor)    Read >>
More tributes and condolences...
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His legacy
John Thomas's Legacy  
                                                            

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OUR LITTLE BUCKAROO

How does a little baby boy have a legacy when he wasn't even able to take his first breathe? Most people say they can't. Some people say "he" wasn't even a newborn, he was a fetus, but I will tell you John Thomas's life meant more then anyone could have imagined. He was our little boy. Our baby buckaroo. From the moment I found out I was pregnant, little John Thomas was a life. A life that grew in me for nine months, almost a year, he exsisted. When he was in my belly he kicked, slept, dreamed, cried, smiled, played games with us, and my favorite, he had the hiccups all the time. He listened to us, especially his Daddy. After he was born we found he had little blonde curls, a head full. He looked just like Daddy, but had mommy's ears and mouth. He was a baby all right and no one can tell me different. He was and will always be our son. He taught my family so much. He taught me not to take things for granted, not to complain about little things that go wrong or that are tough, for you do not know how long you will have something. He taught my husband to love deeper. I think he both taught us life and how precious it really is. This in turn taught us God. God should not be something you have to learn at such a late age, but now we know him, we feel him in us. We trust in him and know our lives rest in his hands. And no matter what happens or how hard it gets he will pull us through. This is not our whole life, this life on earth is just the begining. We love God with all of our hearts and do not know how we ever lived without him.  Our Son, John Thomas, has a legacy. He gave my family and I much more than what was taken away. As much as it hurt to lose him he gave us peace with life and with ourselves. That is our son's legacy.
He will be riding the horses in heaven.


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Remembering Our Babies The Official Site of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day October 15th
 
John's Photo Album
Me at my graduation, just after finding out I was pregnant. 6-3-05
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